Five participants self-reported, with much disbelief, that their feminine partners could have

“It’s very confusing… we was thinking we lesbians are safe”

Perhaps infected them. All of these participants reported that they had never ever been with male lovers or had contact with medical transmissions or drug that is injecting (we would not ask if individuals had been created with HIV or any other feasible risks of transmission). Although burdensome for them all to know, the sole possible path of transmission and behaviour that is risky could report ended up being intercourse along with other females. All individuals additionally claimed out they had been infected with HIV and could not understand how it had happened that they were shocked to find. That they had all thought that simply because they had just been with females, these people were safe:

“…i really couldn’t know how it just happened I thought we (lesbians) are safe, and the only person I was sexually active with was also a female because I was fine and. I possibly couldn’t comprehend… I possibly couldn’t realize. I possibly couldn’t know the way I really could have contracted herpes whenever I had thought I happened to be safe in a real means! ” Zanele, 31 yrs old, Durban

“It’s the way you get badly infected as a lesbian since it’s really confusing just just exactly how it’s possible. Other ladies understand which they have it from their lovers during penetrative sexual intercourse then again as a female who’s a lesbian who additionally sleeps along with other women – it is rather confusing. ” Lebo, 22 yrs old, Pretoria

The individuals’ confusion and disbelief is obvious through the above examples. When you look at the quote that is first Zanele repeats just just exactly how she “couldn’t understand” being HIV infected. This feeling of confusion and nearly maybe maybe not believing this 1 is HIV good ended up being a recurring theme for the five individuals whom reported exclusive sexual associates with ladies in their life time. It continues to be uncertain for a lot of of those exactly how feasible transmission could happen between females.

Of these individuals, coping with HIV demands constant explanations of how one got contaminated as assumptions override lived realities. Not just are individuals struggling to realize feasible disease on their own, they simultaneously battle to answer constant questions from other people regarding how they are often contaminated:

“People think you got HIV that you have slept with a man and that’s how. It creates my entire life much harder because as a lesbian girl who is HIV good, i have to explain the way I got HIV. ” Bongi, 33 yrs old, Johannesburg

“In the city they raise numerous questions regarding the actual fact they see…my partner is a woman that I am a lesbian and when. Then, `how did I be HIV good whenever I have always been somebody who really loves other females? ‘ they ask. Some also get in terms of saying it’s not astonishing I have you ever heard that a woman and another woman could be included? That We have HIV – where have” Gugu, 30 yrs old, Durban

It really is obvious through the above quotes that their HIV good status produces different problems when you look at the everyday lives of those ladies. The constant need to explain an individual’s status to other people shows that you can still find misconceptions about HIV transmission in conjunction with lack of knowledge about same-sex relations.

Determining to disclose

Individuals had been additionally expected when they had disclosed their status to anyone except that the interviewer. Reactions suggest that the majority of individuals had disclosed to somebody, some members of the family and few buddies. Nonetheless, a couple of individuals had just disclosed to 1 or two other people. Some had disclosed to nearest and dearest, buddies as well as publicly. On the list of individuals had been a couple of AIDS activists have been understood inside their communities to be residing freely with HIV. For anyone individuals who’d disclosed to family unit members and friends, disclosure had been couched within the language of protection – i.e. Protecting yourself and another from feasible illness:

I still have to do the same for myself“As I would like to protect the next person. I might nothing like to get re-infected…As very long you can certainly still get re-infected. While you continue having unsafe sex, ” Zintle, 22 yrs old, Pretoria

“My mom as well understands (about my HIV status) because if we collapse in front of her she have to know that she must utilize gloves to simply help so she defintely won’t be infected” Gugu https://www.camsloveaholics.com/couples/redhead/, 30 yrs old, Durban

All stated the necessity and importance of disclosing to intimate partners while participants may shy away from disclosing to the general public. Central to disclosure that is such protecting someone and ensuring she will not get diseased:

“Most associated with the partners that I happened to be dating – a lot of them are in fact HIV negative and we just be sure that they can constantly stay HIV negative. I would personallyn’t risk their everyday lives and We just be sure that I would personallyn’t do just about anything…” Taati, 26 yrs old, Windhoek